We'll Be The Judge of That! - American Idol 6, March 27

How did the Idols perform? By now, you’ve read the recap over on RealityNewsOnline, so you know what Randy, Paula, Simon, and Betsy think. But what do our judges – Sandy Lamparello, Tyler Sandersfeld, David Bloomberg, Bruce Barker, and Kathy Lonergan - have to say?

LaKisha Jones, “Last Dance”

Sandy: LaKisha looked gorgeous this week! Red is really her color. And she sounded great as usual. It was a fun, energetic performance. Well done!

Tyler: Despite the rather broad theme, this song choice still seemed rather predictable. Kiki does have the power to turn a no-brainer into a no-nonsense hit, but it didn't quite happen for me. I did like it, but I didn't love it. With Melinda continuing her dominance and Jordin quickly gaining ground, LaKisha could easily be the first mega-shock vote-off this season. And yes, I am implying more than one. Vocals: 19. Performance: 11. Other: 6. TOTAL: 36.

David: First thing’s first: What the hell was LaKisha wearing? With that behind us we can talk about her performance. What can we say other than “Wow!”? She not only owned the song, she owned the stage and strutted her stuff. I agree with the on-site judges that it was good to see her doing an up-tempo number. LaKisha rocked!

Bruce: The song demands an energy that Lakisha must have left in her good suit. Her voice was as impeccable as ever, but she was so focused on performing the song well that she lost all sense of fun and abandonment. The song itself is the plea of a person who knows the night is at an end and is determined to leave every last ounce of energy right there on the dance floor. I’m aware of the fact that most people pay little attention to the lyrics of songs nowadays, but if the singer doesn’t feel it, how can the audience? 7

Kathy: Well, all traces of Shirley Bassey have been obliterated. Kiki was, as Simon said, much more youthful this week. All 3 of the Ps were there (power, pitch and passion, for those of you unfamiliar with my vernacular), but more importantly, she added another P: personality. LaKisha actually smiled and had fun this week, which is exactly what I think she needed to do. I have no criticisms of her vocal—she was, as always, outstanding.

Chris Sligh, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”

Sandy: Chris had the rhythm issues that Gwen mentioned throughout his performance. I didn’t love the walking with the microphone stand thing but he was better when he moved away from the stand. Whoops, rough note there. Chris could do so much better than that.

Tyler: Chris should have listened to Gwen and worked on the pacing. Chris sounds good and can work the crowd, but if he can't stay on beat, the performance is going to be a botched magic trick that reveals the trick. Nobody likes that unless it's Penn and Teller, and Chris is no Penn Jillette. Vocals: 17. Performance: 9. Other: 6. TOTAL: 32.

David: A number of Idol contestants have tried to sing Sting or Police songs – and generally failed. Sting’s voice is just so iconic, it’s hard to hear a song without comparing the Idol performance to the original. But Chris succeeded! He had the right tone without making it sound like an imitation. Frankly, I didn’t notice the whole Randy/Paula issue of not being in time with the band. I did notice that Chris looked a little awkward while performing, though. Still, I liked it a lot more than the on-site judges!

Bruce: His inability to find the “1” in the song or stay on the downbeat should have stuck out to even the most novice music fan. It’s a tough song with a tight lyrical pocket. If you rehearse it, you own it. If you “wing” it you are doomed. Chris made this classic song both boring and bland. God forgive me… it had no Sting. 5

Kathy: With this performance, Chris continues along on his downward spiral—so much so, in fact, that I’m changing his name to Chris Slide. His sustained notes were shaky, he strained to hit his high notes, and to say he was off the beat is putting it mildly. Unfortunately, the excessive reverb wasn’t helping. Chris, the gauntlet has been thrown down; it’s a ladies’ finale unless Blake can sneak in there.

Gina Glocksen, “I’ll Stand by You”

Sandy: This song always makes me cry. Gina went to the Haley school of clothing this week I see. I wanted her to really belt this song out. She didn’t quite do that but it was a great performance. Better than what we’ve seen from Gina before. Great job!

Tyler: Another rather predictable song choice, but no one could predict that outfit safely. Yikes! Luckily the performance was good enough to distract me from that... thing. Gina found the line between cheesy ballad singer and rocker chick and stayed there throughout the performance. Keep that up, Gina! Vocals: 22. Performance: 12. Other: 6. TOTAL: 40.

David: With this performance, Gina proved that she can do more than just sing rockin’ songs. She stood center-stage and belted out a great performance, earning herself a well-deserved standing ovation. I agree with the on-site judges that it was one of her best performances ever. She is proving just why she belongs here for the long haul. Great job, Gina!

Bruce: This may well be the strangest season in Idol history. The favorites have begun to leave me cold and singers I felt should have left weeks ago are really becoming exciting to watch. Gina’s opening verse was absolutely gorgeous. Her pitch was dead solid perfect and had a tonal quality that I’ve not heard from her before. She did crack in the middle, just as she has every week, before a solid finish. But those cracks in her singing are getting smaller each week and her vocals are improving at a frightening pace. Impressive Gina, very impressive. 8

Kathy: Wow! Where has THIS voice been hiding these last few weeks? Everything about this performance was beautiful: pure, clear tone, great control, good modulation between registers, and a palpable emotional quality. Gina showed vulnerability, which shows there’s a marshmallow under all that “edge”. This was by far the best she’s ever done- it was awesome.

Sanjaya Malakar, “Bathwater”

Sandy: WHAT the HELL was THAT? He looked like a mutant chicken. And he sounded like one too. Did he forget the lyrics? I can’t even tell. I’m begging you America. STOP VOTING FOR SANJAYA!

Tyler: Oh, wait, did he sing? I didn't notice because I was too fixated on that impossibly horrendous "ponyhawk." Pass.

David: Oh. My. God. What the hell was on his head? It looked like a muskrat died there and nobody told him. On the plus side, at least it distracted me from having to listen to his singing. Horrible, as usual. What else did we expect? I hope his snide remarks to Simon hurt him. Hell, at this point, I want to hurt him. Get off my TV screen!

Bruce: Love it, love it, LOVE IT! He can’t pull of a Cher-like costume change, but he’s got the hair makeover down cold. I’m just amazed he somehow stole my daily ‘do! I may have to sue. Someone forgot to tell Sanjaya that he stinks and he’s just going out there every week and having a ball. His best to date. 8

Kathy: Well, well, well- just when we thought he couldn’t get more ridiculous, Sanjaya pulled a proverbial rabbit out of his seemingly bottomless hat. I snickered aloud when he sang the lyric “I’m diving into my own destruction.” But hey, I’m not a Clearasil user, so what do I know? See you next week, Sanjaya.

Haley Scarnato, “True Colors”

Sandy: I think Haley is going to wear short shorts and dresses for the rest of her time in this competition. This is a simple, pretty song, and she performed it very sweetly. (I said it before Simon did.) She was a little out of tune at the end but overall she did well. I agree with Simon that it could be forgettable though.

Tyler: Is she still here? That's it. I'm no longer predicting her ouster. Maybe that will send her home. She deserves it after that. Vocals: 15. Performance: 8. Other: 4. TOTAL: 27.

David: On the plus side, Haley was wearing another short outfit. On the minus side, Haley wasn’t hopping around in the short outfit to an up-tempo song. This is not just a minus for the obvious reason, but because it meant we had to pay more attention to her vocals. It wasn’t great – like Simon said, “sweet but forgettable” – and I’m worried for her.

Bruce: The Mona Lisa doesn’t need a party dress. Mount Rushmore doesn’t need four sets of Groucho glasses. And sometimes a song speaks for itself. True Colors doesn’t need all the vocal embellishment that Haley inflicted on it. 5

Kathy: Poor Haley—she’s so disadvantaged in this competition that she’s resigned herself to a steady diet of Daisy Dukes. Yes, Haley- you’ve got amazing legs, and yes, Tina Turner built a career out of them, but you’re not Tina Turner! As for the actual vocal, she started off very nicely, but like a sprinter with a charley horse, she limped across the finish line. Oh, and as for sustaining a note in the middle of a phrase, well- that’s just desperate.

Phil Stacey, “Every Breath You Take”

Sandy: Phil chose the perfect song. He sounded awesome and he had the creepy stalkerish thing going on. Which for this song is a good thing. Phil is getting better every week. I really really liked that performance!

Tyler: When Phil gets to those big notes, he is great. When he stays on the little notes, he is rather meh. The big notes won out this time, but only just. With Phil, it's go big or go home. This week, he may go home. Vocals: 18. Performance: 11. Other: 5. TOTAL: 34.

David: Remember what I said earlier about most Idol performances of Police songs failing? That’s exactly what happened here. It sounded like karaoke, with Phil trying to be Sting. And failing. There was nothing original in this performance whatsoever.

Bruce: Bad form! I don’t care how low they set it, there is no need to give singers an unfair advantage by allowing them usage of an Echoplex! Let me explain. Just like what it sounds, an Echoplex adds echo to whatever the mike picks up. If you set it on the high end the echo is louder and longer. If you set it on the low end, it enhances the vocals by adding punch to the end of each couplet. It lends a haunting quality to any vocal. Phil didn’t even need it. The actual vocal was fine by itself without the cheap auditory trickery. This was one of his “on” weeks. 8

Kathy: Phil’s back, bay-beeeeeee! I thought this was an amazing vocal. Now, I love The Police, and I would bear Sting’s love child (don’t worry, my husband knows), but I have to give Phil credit for performing this song at a level equal to the original. Beautiful tone, spot-on pitch, and thankfully, he wore a hat. I have absolutely no complaints here. Way to go, Phil!

Melinda Doolittle, “Heaven Knows”

Sandy: Melinda looked adorable this week, I don’t care what Simon said. She really knows how to perform. It’s like she was born on the stage. Another awesome performance by Melinda. I love her modesty too. She’s the one to beat this year.

Tyler: Just like a Silver Age comic book, SuperMelinda battles the Disco Demon and, despite the Demon's Eye-Blinding Dress attack, she easily won. I'm just glad she didn't give a cheesy moral lesson or shill fruit pies. Vocals: 21. Performance: 13. Other: 8. TOTAL: 42.

David: Maybe I’m getting jaded, but I don’t have much to say other than that this was a usual Melinda performance. It was great from a vocals standpoint, she owned the stage, etc. I’m out of words to describe “great job.”

Bruce: Melinda displayed all the energy that was missing from LaKisha’s disco turn. From the first note forward she never stood still. She smiled and showed all the hard-work-made-easy style that only comes with a lot of stage experience. She was awesome. 10

Kathy: First things first: Melinda looked like she was wearing a giant scarf, and her chest seemed compacted into some sort of amorphous uniboob. I never thought I’d be agreeing with Simon on fashion, but never say never, right? That said, I felt Melinda was strong as always. Not her best, but certainly very good.

Blake Lewis, “Lovesong”

Sandy: Blake kept this song simple and didn’t throw in unneeded effects. He sounded good, though it wasn’t the most exciting performance. Good for him changing things up a little bit this week though. He’s unique enough to stick around for a bit.

Tyler: Oh, whatever I believe in. He DID choose the horrid 311 cover! That's a big penalty. Blake is a potentially good singer, but he just seems so empty without the beatboxing and the coupled performance style. There's always next week. Although I would like to see him in the finale as well, smeg off, Paula. Vocals: 19. Performance: 11. Other: 2. TOTAL: 32.

David: Blake showed his versatility yet again by picking this fairly simple, straightforward song and just flat-out singing it. He reminded us that his voice alone is enough to carry the day – anything beyond that, which he usually throws in, is just gravy. I found it amusing that Simon warned Blake not to be too much like Chris Daughtry – who is the most successful Idol from last season!

Bruce: More Echoplex! And once again, it wasn’t needed. Blake’s natural voice is very pleasant and easy on the ears. Strip away the beat boxing and he is still a formidable talent. His problem is, and this is not a joke, he has a very small mouth and throat. It’s hard for a singer to maintain tone and project if they were born with a small mouth. If you don't believe me, watch how gentle and soft his vocals are compared to singers blessed with cavernous mouths – Steven Tyler of Aerosmith for example. His best pure vocal performance to date. 9

Kathy: Say what you want about Blake, the man is an innovator. A Cure song on American Idol? How unconventional! Singing it downtempo as a ballad? Cool twist! Taking said ballad and singing it against a ska beat? Genius! It wasn’t the most exciting performance of the night, or the best he’s ever done, but it was unique, and that’s why this guy must stay in the competition.

Jordin Sparks, “Hey Baby”

Sandy: Jordin looked younger this week than she has the past few weeks. It worked for this song, though I’m not sure how good a choice it was. She sounded good but I don’t know. I think there was too much emphasis on the background singers. It was different, that’s for sure. And she does have a gorgeous voice.

Tyler: I appreciate Jordin for trying such a weird song, but in the end it was still a weird song choice. She sang and performed well, but the song prevented the best Jordin can do. I do think she has the potential to win this thing, but she'll need better songs. Vocals: 19. Performance: 11. Other: 6. TOTAL: 36.

David: Whoever dressed Jordin should be fired – her outfit made her look about 40 pounds heavier. As for her performance, that had to be a difficult song, and Jordin handled it like a pro. In fact, she worked the stage like she was born there. I liked the way she acknowledged the backup singers at the “girls say” portions, for example.

Bruce: I guessed I watched a different performance than the onsite judges. I love this song and Gwen Stefani has both the upper and lower range to make it one of her signature pieces. Jordin lacked the lower register and as a result her vocal bottom kept flattening out the verses. In addition, as I’ve said in the past when reviewing other singers, she overcompensated when she could finally open up her throat and the upper register came out shrill and harsh. Her age and ambition got the better of her here and she bit off a whole lot more song than she was ready to swallow. In 5 years she’ll own this song, but for now, it tore her up. 6

Kathy: Last week, Jordin blew me away with the best performance of the bunch. This week, I felt she was outclassed by a number of singers. First of all, I feel the song is catchy and all, but not really a good vehicle to showcase vocals. It’s more talking than singing, and the background singers have a larger role than the lead vocal for a good part of the time. Speaking of the vocal, Jordin continues to struggle with her lower register. Perhaps a key change might have helped her, but at this point, she just hasn’t mastered the ability to provide adequate breath support for those low notes, and her performance suffered because of it. I also have to remark on her outfit. Normally I think she has amazing taste in clothes, but this week she was a walking picnic. Perhaps she had just read Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast; after all, she is in high school!

Chris Richardson, “Don’t Speak”

Sandy: Eh, I was a little bored by Chris’s performance. He still sounded so nasal too. What’s the deal with that? It wasn’t bad but I wasn’t wowed.

Tyler: Not the performance I would choose for the pimp spot. The final performance should be one of, if not the, best of the night. There were problems here and there and I didn't quite feel it. At least the nasal wasn't too problematic this week. Vocals: 17. Performance: 10. Other: 5. TOTAL: 32.

David: Chris did an okay job for most of his song – though he hit what I call his squeaky voice a couple times. I’m generally not terribly impressed by Chris, and that continued this week. I agree with Simon about the vocals.

Bruce: I think it’s time to add a new rule to David’s famous list of dos and don’ts for Idol performers. “If a famous singer or songwriter warns you not to do something with one of their songs, don’t freaking do it! Gwen told Chris to stay away from his “vocal acrobatics” and he didn’t listen. I could almost see him looking for places to slip in a little scale-run or vocal riff. The result was sloppy and a major contender for Worst Anchor Performance of the Season. 7

Kathy: Hey Chris- change “speak” to “sing”, and then take your own advice. This guy got the anchor slot? Come ON! His performance was nowhere near the best of the night; I suspect his surprise appearance in the bottom two last week prompted the AI brass to spotlight him a little more. Whatever the reason, he destroyed a great song with his nasal, wobbly vocal.

Final Thoughts:

Sandy: Our top ten did a great job overall this week! Melinda once again shined, and Phil, Blake, and Gina really stepped up too. Was it me, or did Gwen say pretty much the same thing about/to everyone—don’t stray from the melody, keep it simple, and focus on the song. Anyway, I must make a serious plea. Please, America, let Sanjaya go home. My poor dog has threatened to leave home if she has to listen to him sing one more time. End the torture now! In the event that Sanjaya manages to defy all logic and reason once again, I think Chris Sligh could be in some trouble. He’s fallen way down from his awesome audition and semifinal performances, and it’s happening while others are really stepping it up. So, I’m going to HOPE that Sanjaya has performed for the last time, but if he manages to pull out another miracle, I think it will be Chris S’s last performance.

Tyler: This has to be the lamest theme idea EVER! "Gwen Stefani and Her Influences?" What's next week, "Songs by an Artist Named after a Place?" Granted, I would like to hear some Boston and Chicago, but I would expect a lot of Whitney Houston, and hope no one chooses Europe. [Associate Editor’s Note: I could go for some Asia.] Back on topic, for the last four years, the tenth place contestant has always been in the bottom three on Top 12 week. In fact, I believe only Jessica was not in the bottom two, but since that contestant (Mikalah) was already eliminated, it made sense. So if we are to believe Idol, Sanjaya is in trouble. However, a very reliable blogger whose shall remain nameless says the true bottom three that week was Haley, Stephanie, and Brandon, with Brandon at the bottom. Brandon and Stephanie are gone, so that leaves Haley to go. Since I said I won't predict her ouster, I'll just put her in the bottom three along with Phil and Sanjaya, and hopefully pattern kicks Sanjaya and his atrocious hairstyles to the curb.

David: There were some very good performances – Gina, Jordin, LaKisha, Melinda – and some rather forgettable ones. In my pre-show prediction article with Sting7, I said Phil would go home after being joined by Chris R. and Sanjaya in the bottom three. I still think Phil is in the most danger of getting the boot, but Haley may bump one of the other guys. I really, really, really, really, really, really (just pretend I wrote “really” for about another page or so) hope Sanjaya will leave us, but I don’t think it will happen.

Bruce: This is where it starts to become a tough call. So many things can happen. It’s still enough of a popularity contest that some singers that are really due to leave will continue to linger for a couple of more weeks. Chris Sligh gave the worst performance of the week but I think this will only mean that his fans will really step it up and save him. He’s one more bad performance away from being in true danger. Jordin may get a scare as well, but she’s given us too many great efforts to be dismissed so easily. At the risk of sounding like a broken record (does anyone remember those things anymore?) I believe Haley will find her way to center stage along with Phil. If a third contestant is pulled to center this time it could just as easily be Chris Sligh or Sanjaya. To be honest I could make the prediction by tossing coins as easily as anything else at this point.

Kathy: What a week! As is always the case, Melinda and LaKisha were great. No surprises there! For me, the best performances of the night came from two people who haven’t been too impressive lately: Gina and Phil. I loved the vocals and I loved the performances. Blake gets kudos too, for doing his thing. At the bottom for me would be Chris, Chris and the who looked “luda-CHRIS.” As for who I think will go home, I just don’t know. I really hope Gina and Phil gain some votes based on this week’s performances, but I just don’t know if their regular fan bases can sustain them. Sanjaya has the hair, Haley has the hot pants… can either gimmick save them? Oh, what the heck- I’ll go out on a limb and say we’ve seen the last of Haley’s “True Colors”.

Conclusions: In what was probably the lamest theme night in American Idol history (right up there with “songs from your birth year”), most of our judges were focused on trying to figure out what happened to Sanjaya’s hair. Personally, your voiceless editor thinks he’s just screwing with us, saying “See, I can belch the alphabet and still won’t crack the Bottom 3. In any case, our judging crew didn’t agree on much this week, including who will go. It seems that Chris Sligh, Haley, and Phil will make it to chat with Ryan at center stage, but after that it’s anyone’s guess. Who will it be? We’ll all find out who goes on Thursday, but until then, keep it locked on RealityNewsOnline and FoxesOnIdol for all the latest!

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