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American Idol 8, January 20 Recap: You Stay Classy, San Franciscoby Jenn Brasler -- 01/21/2009
View Printable version of this article The Great Audition Fest of 2009 has brought us to San Francisco, where seems thing to be pretty much the same as they are in all the other cities. Let’s see if any of the contestants’ back stories can top blind or widowed, shall we? Ryan waxes poetic about how much the show loves the city as Jefferson Airplane’s “Somebody to Love” plays. They couldn’t get the rights to “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” or “San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)”? Speaking of love, there’s a proposal and marriage in line. What? Ryan takes a stroll into the judging room and Simon and Randy tell him to say his lines again in a normal voice. Why set yourself up like that, Ryan? 
Instead of waiting for the San Juan auditions, Tatiana Del Toro has come from Puerto Rico to San Francisco to audition. She apparently has every job in the world and an annoying laugh. A friend of hers who’s a psychic told her she’ll make the top 12. Yeah, I’ll bet. We get a bunch of clips of her annoying laugh. Ug. Tatiana says she wants to win more than anyone has ever wanted anything. She’ll outsing everyone on the planet to get a record deal if she has to. Okay, let’s get to the sucking already. Tatiana gives the judges her press kit and tells them she didn’t want to just be another girl in Puerto Rico, which is why she came here. She sings Aretha. Darn it, she’s good. I’ll have to make fun of the tulle on her dress instead. Simon thinks she picked a bad song, though, and that she does a lot of things well, but not singing. Tatiana sings something else, but she still doesn’t win Simon over. Tatiana tries begging with a really melodramatic look instead. Still no dice. She sings again. Paula gives her a yes. She thinks she has a good choice and is fun. Randy tells Tatiana that she doesn’t have the big voice to be an R&B singer. However, he gives her a yes because she’s “wild.” Kara doesn’t think she has the vocals, but she likes Tatiana’s vibe. Simon dispenses with the rest of the voting and just sends Tatiana through to Hollywood. After she leaves the room, he makes it clear that he didn’t send her through on her voice. Tatiana thinks she’s better than everyone else and is going to win. I predict we won’t see her after the first Hollywood round. There’s a horrible segue between San Francisco being ahead of its time and the contestants trying to be creative. Nick Reed is weird. Jiayi Yu is possibly a robot. Dean-Anthony Bradford, wearing a huge plaid coat, says he’s a failed entrepreneur. He tells the judges he had a special event production company but “apparently the special events weren’t too special.” Ha! Too bad he has a weird voice and isn’t going anywhere. From his facial expressions and attitude, I’m going to guess he just wanted to be on TV. Randy calls his audition torture. Simon doesn’t like his hair color, though Dean-Anthony claims it’s natural and the carpet matches the drapes. Then he starts to take off the coat and everyone freaks out. Okay, that might be my favorite audition ever. Ryan and Dean-Anthony blame his failure on the coat. Jesús Valenzuela has a huge family, so it’s good that he considers himself a family man. He tells the judges that his kids encouraged him to come audition. He sings some R&B song I don’t recognize, and though his voice is nice, Simon doesn’t think he can win. Kara and Paula would like to put him through anyway. Jesús smartly tries to use the kid card, then brings his two sons in to meet the judges. The younger one, Gabriel, is quite a ham. Simon informs him that Paula said no to his dad. Gabriel hangs his head. Paula denies the allegation. 
Jesús sings “Unchained Melody” and his sons try to plead his case for Hollywood. Simon won’t change his mind. Paula says yes, as does Kara, who doesn’t want to make the kids sad. It’s down to Randy, who also doesn’t make the kids sad by sending his dad to Hollywood. Paula makes sure the kids know that Simon said no to their dad. Kara and Paula encourage Gabriel to punch Simon, but instead Gabriel gives him a hug. Outside, the whole family cheers and screams. Ryan says it was a team effort. Too bad the kids can’t help Jesús in the Hollywood rounds, huh? Dalton Powell is a Rubik’s Cube master. Sadly, that’s the most interesting thing about him, as he seems to have zero personality. Oh, and he can’t sing. He puts me to sleep. Simon says he can’t sing but showed great intelligence. ‘Bye, Dalton! Ryan says that other auditioners have energy but no talent. James Smith is one. Randy says something about Paula wanting to have his baby? I think? Who cares, we’re not going to see him again. Oh, now they play “San Francisco (Unnecessary Use of Parentheses).” Somehow this leads to clips highlighting a “growing feud” between Simon and Kara. Oh, no, sometimes they disagree! And Kara stands up to Simon! Oh, the humanity! 1 2 Next-->View Printable version of this article
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