American Idol 6: Why Haley Lost

Woohoo! No, that’s not the sound of me celebrating that Haley left, in particular (though I do believe she was long overdue to go). That’s me celebrating finally getting a pick right in my pre-performance prediction article with Sting7. Not only did I predict Haley’s demise, but the whole bottom three. ‘Scuse me while I pat myself on the back, because ever since the finals portion of the show began, my predictions have been generally miserable.

OK, now that I’m done with that, we’ll get to the actual article and figure out why I was right. Er, I mean why Haley lost.

The way we do that, of course, is to look back at What ‘American Idol 6’ Contestants Need to Know and use it as a guide. So let’s get to it!

The first rule tells contestants the obvious – they need to sing and perform well. Haley was never the star when it came to this. Indeed, Sting and I picked Haley to go first in large part because she did not stack up to the likes of Melinda, LaKisha, etc. But that was then, this is now. What did people think about her performance this week?

In two words: Not good. Randy said he could have seen that performance in any bar (I guess he’s stealing Simon’s material). Simon panned the vocals while the cameras panned over Haley’s legs. Paula said something useless about her having fun, which is her way of saying it sucked but she just can’t bear to be negative.

Of key importance is that Randy also used the K-word, karaoke. This is specifically cited as a no-no in the first rule, noting, “You need to avoid it at all costs,” and talking about how contestants need to sing familiar songs “in a way that does not make it look like you are just imitating the original singer.” There wasn’t much in the way of originality in that performance.

What about people besides the on-site judges? Recapper Betsy noted that Haley appeared “far more focused on striding purposefully across the stage than on actually singing.” She added, “She’s off key and off tempo. It’s really a big old mess.” Ouch.

The We’ll Be the Judge of That crew generally agreed. Tyler was distracted by her legs, but still noticed that her “vocals were a problem.” Kathy noted, “her pitch was all over the place.” And Sandy one-upped Randy by saying the performance was “worse than karaoke.” Only Bruce thought it was decent.

Obviously, that summary is not a good sign. What about song choice, the second rule? Well, even Paula noted that it wasn’t a singer’s song, but a fun song. Hey, Haley didn’t get this far by being a singer’s singer, so that may have been quite intentional. But while it might be difficult to believe as Sanjaya continues forward this season, Idol is still mostly a singing competition. That means at some point, viewers want to see and hear contestants sing, not just prance around in shorter-than-short-shorts.

The third rule says contestants need to be consistent and able to sing different genres. Quite frankly, Haley was never consistent. That’s one reason we kept expecting her to go. She did have a couple good performances, but they were interspersed with more not-so-good ones. This was a not-so-good. And that goes directly against the rule, which exhorts the singers to “Be excellent every time.”

Haley also had some problems with the fourth rule. It says to be unique, and discusses not just standing out among your own fellow contestants, but also not trying to be a new version of a previous contestant. But for weeks, people have been talking about how similar Haley has looked to last season’s runner-up, Katharine McPhee. She even used the same hair extensions!

Maybe it was intentional, maybe not. If it was, Haley sorely mistaken to think Katharine fans would vote for her just because she was taking on part of her image. If anything, it was likely to cause them not to vote for her.

More recently, Haley’s version of being unique appeared to be dressing in as little clothing as possible, especially where her legs were concerned. And hey, it certainly got attention. But even wearing very little clothing isn’t all that unique – ask Antonella Barba. OK, that wasn’t on the show, but still.

Fifth is to be memorable. For a long time, Haley had a problem here. She was one of those “and who is the other woman who’s still on the show?” types. What really got her noticed by the public was when she totally screwed up the words and got sympathy votes in the first round of the finals. Then she compounded that with hotness votes using her already-mentioned as-little-clothing-as-possible plan.

But notice what it is people were remembering her for: Messing up and her looks. Not her singing. Not her personality. Not her back story. Her short shorts and long legs. That’s enough to pull through a few early rounds, when the votes are more divided, but as more contestants fall, it simply cannot hold out.

This takes us directly to the sixth rule, which emphasizes that contestants need to provide a full package. That includes not just singing, but personality. I can’t really say I know all that much about Haley’s personality. In fact, of all the remaining contestants and her, I’d put her at the very bottom in these terms.

All we saw of Haley was the wrapping. Don’t get me wrong, it is a very nice wrapping, and many men and boys were happy to look at it. But unwrap it (no, not that way – time to take your mind out of the gutter) and there wasn’t much inside. Where was the singing talent? Where was the personality? Or, as an old lady once said, “Where’s the beef?!” It wasn’t there. With Haley, it was all buns.

At least she generally followed the seventh rule and avoided arguing with the judges. As noted, when she really screwed up previously, she cried for sympathy where other contestants might have fought the judges instead. This week, she responded to the negative comments by saying she appreciated what they said, though she did add that she had fun and got the audience going, as if that made up for it.

The final rule discusses how contestants need to create a fan base. I now Haley had fans, but I’m not sure how much of a fan base she had. Quite often, fan bases really jump into action when their favorite is panned by the judges. That obviously didn’t happen here.

From the people I’ve talked to who have voted for Haley, they are not part of any specific “vote for Haley” type of group. Instead, they either felt sorry for her or wanted to keep her around for visual purposes. Neither of these reasons is enough to sustain an all-out base of fans.

I said it earlier in this article, but I’ll say it again: American Idol is, at its heart, a singing competition. That’s why singing and performing occupy the first rule. There are other contributing factors, certainly, and a person who does well at several of those may advance beyond where we would have otherwise expected. But the shortest shorts in the world won’t hide vocals that pale in comparison to many of the other remaining (and several departed) contestants.

Haley managed to use several tricks of the trade to stick around for longer than I expected. But it was time for her to go. She gave a poor performance. At the same time, she didn’t have the sympathy vote to help her this time, while her short-short routine had become, well, routine. Haley simply could not support herself on Idol through her singing ability, and the other factors peeled away one by one. That is why Haley lost.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these other recent articles on Foxes On Idol and RealityNewsOnline:

David Bloomberg is the Editor of Foxes On Idol, and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com. Thanks to Sandy, Betsy, and Jenn for their thoughts and suggestions!

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