American Idol 6: What Should Antonella Sing?

There has been a lot of serious discussion about the Antonella Barba situation (for example, recent articles by David Bloomberg and Bruce Barker). This article, however, is not about that. In fact, there will be nothing serious at all here! Instead, the Foxes On Idol writers spent some time thinking about songs that would be appropriate for Antonella to sing tonight in her semi-final performance, given the current situation. Yes, we feel that even a situation like this could use a bit of lightheartedness, and we hope that’s what this article brings.

Antonella can choose from a large number of songs that represent different aspects of the pictures we have seen. The worst of the photos bring out all sorts of possibilities, such as Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Suck My Kiss,” “Easy Lover” by Philip Bailey and Phil Collins, “Lay Your Hands on Me” by the Thompson Twins, “Lovergirl” by Teena Marie, “Lovin’ Every Minute of It” by Loverboy, “Harder to Breathe” by Maroon 5, “On the Way Down” by Ryan Cabrera, “Scandalous” by Mis-teeq (or Queen’s “Scandal”), “Pearl Necklace” by ZZ Top, “See Me, Feel Me” by The Who, the Pointer Sisters’ “Slow Hand,” Fiona Apple’s “The First Taste,” Phil Collins’ “Come With Me,” Asia’s “Heat of the Moment,” Kiss’ “Lick It Up,” Aaron Tippin’s “Kiss This,” or Bob Dylan’s “Blowin' In the Wind.”

But we’re not really sure if the nastiest of the photos are truly of Antonella. So perhaps she should sing Madonna’s “Who’s that Girl?” There are many other possibilities, such as Tyrese’s “I Ain’t the One,” 3 Doors Down’s “It’s Not Me,” Jennifer Lopez’s similarly-titled “That’s Not Me,” “Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” by The Animals, Phil Collins’ “Both Sides of the Story,” and “If You Don't Know Me By Now” by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. Then again, she could be coy and sing Frank Sinatra’s “You’ll Never Know.”

Even if the raciest photos are not her, there are still numerous topless, semi-nude, and suggestive pictures of Antonella floating around. She could sing about these with hits like Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” Britney Spears’ “Oops! I Did It Again,” “Centerfold” by the J. Geils Band (not to mention “Love Stinks” if it’s true that her ex-boyfriend sent in some of these photos), The Eagles’ “Life in the Fast Lane,” and the Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself.”

If Antonella decides she’s leaving the show, she could sing songs like The Beatles’ “Run for Your Life,” Michelle Branch’s “Goodbye to You,” or “Throwing It All Away” by Genesis. If she wants to stay and fight, she might choose Phil Collins’ “I Don’t Want to Go” or Bryan Adams’ “Please Forgive Me.”

If she’s not sure, she might ask the producers, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” If they let her stick around, they might pick Whitney Houston's “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” for her. They might also suggest the Dixie Chicks’ “Sin Wagon,” Matchbox Twenty’s “Shame,” Monica’s “U Should've Known Better,” Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors,” or Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around.”

In addition to the songs mentioned above, Antonella could dip into the library of music from former Idol contestants’ albums and sing tunes that apply to any of the categories mentioned above. For example, she has choices like Clay Aiken’s “Here You Come Again” and Ruben Studdard’s “Blow Ya Mind.” Of course, Clay’s “Measure of a Man” is also a possibility.

LaToya London’s “Scandalous” would describe the whole situation well. Carrie has “We’re Young and Beautiful” to describe the pictures with Antonella and her friends, and “Starts with Goodbye” to tell us what will likely happen to her. She could sing Fantasia’s “I’m Not That Type” to argue that the photos are not her, or Ayla Brown’s “I Quit” if that’s how she chooses to handle it. If she plans to stick around, she could choose Jennifer Hudson’s “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” or Chris Daughtry’s “It’s Not Over.”

Kelly Clarkson has several songs that describe different aspects of the scandal: “The Trouble With Love Is” and “Beautiful Disaster” aptly describe some of the photos. “You Thought Wrong” would be her statement denying the pictures feature her. And she could use either “Gone” or “Walk Away” if she decides it just isn’t worth all of this.

We know there are many, many more songs out there that fall into these categories. The songs listed here are those that simply occurred to us as we have been discussing the Antonella situation recently. To get serious for a moment, while we don’t actually expect that she will sing any of these, we do at least hope Idol will address the situation somehow.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these other recent articles on Foxes On Idol:

David Bloomberg is the Editor of Foxes On Idol, and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.

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