The Idol Analyst: Why Are They So Mean This Year?

After taking a break from writing regular articles last season to focus on the “We’ll Be the Judge of That” articles and do some research for other projects, I’m back to write about my favorite guilty pleasure. Longtime visitors to Foxes on Idol may remember from my past columns that I tend to look at things from a somewhat different perspective and don’t beat around the bush with my opinions. This first column will be no different.

With the premiere of Season 6 of Idol, we got a four-hour dose of more-of-the-same that we’ve been seeing for years. This year however, we may be seeing the start of something Simon Cowell predicted at the end of Season 2. He fretted that he didn’t think the show would last too much longer because he didn’t think America could produce a steady stream of true diamond in the rough stars. While we got a couple of years to brag about how our bottomless talent pool proves Simon is full of hot air, it seems we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for singers this year. The first two episodes introduced perhaps two singers with the talent to have us remember their names.

In the wake of the premiere episodes, however, something new has happened. The show continued to astonish critics by besting the already phenomenal ratings of last season, but there was a very vocal negative reaction by those who did watch. The bulletin boards began to fill up with comments that the judges were being cruel and mean-spirited this season. Rosie O’Donnell weighed in with outrage at some of the judges’ comments. There has been talk of people so upset that they are going to stop watching the show. Chaos and rebellion are in the air (or at least on the web and the television) and it looks like there are chinks in the Idol armor.

Let’s keep it real here. First of all, people have threatened to bail on the show since the words “Ruben Studdard” were first printed on the winning envelope at the end of Season 2 – maybe even before that. Clay fans began to proclaim, “Idol found, game over,” and said they’d never watch again or at least never vote for anyone because for them Clay was it. Then there was the whole Jennifer Hudson episode with Elton John branding the show as racist and fans swearing they would never again invest themselves in the show. That’s just a couple of many examples of the protests and boycotts that have been promised – those of us who write about the show hear it all the time. The net result? Ratings are once again up 5% for the show and the premiere came within less than a ratings point of beating the Aiken/Studdard finale of Season 2. So much for boycotts and assorted other howls of righteous indignation.

But aside from all that, what about the outcry this year – that our trio of judges is being cruel and the show has become the modern day equivalent of the carnival freak show? Comments like, “That was bloody awful,” and, “I’m not being rude but that was deplorable,” are commonplace. Oh wait… those aren’t from this season! They are from past seasons. In fact, Simon has made comments like these so many times over the years it’s almost impossible to count them. Several times in seasons past, contestants have bragged about their vocal coaches and the lessons they’ve had only to be told by Simon they should demand their money back. Is that really so different from Randy telling a vocal coach he should give his students back the money they’ve paid?

My point is this: the judges are not being any more cruel than they’ve been in years past. Some of this year’s contestants are absolutely ridiculous, there’s no arguing that. But for every “cowardly lion” audition there is a William Hung from earlier seasons. For every “we just let in a giraffe” comment this year, there is a “We’re gonna need a bigger stage” remark from the past. This is nothing new.

I’m going to be honest here. The first time I saw the contestant that Simon called a bug-eyed bush baby I turned to my roommate and said, “wow, Steve Buscemi and Marty Feldman must have had a baby!” I saw the mother of one of the other contestants and thought, “whoa! It’s Joey Ramone in drag!” Yet the people who know me would not say I’m an unusually cruel or mean-spirited person. Let’s face it – the audition episodes of Idol have always been full of odd contestants and people with voices like animals under torture. We all sit patiently and wait for the next Kelly Clarkson to dazzle us, or for the Voice of the Ages to show up in the nerdy guise of a Clay Aiken. But in order for the judges to find the diamond of tomorrow they have to wade through the coal slag of today. Fans of the show have known this and eagerly sit through the horrible “singers” just to hear what Simon is going to have to say afterward.

It’s also a known fact that of the thousands of potential contestants that show up in the audition cities, it is only a small fraction of them who actually perform for the cameras. Production assistants weed out the majority in the early going. So who gets through? Well, those with real talent sail through of course. But along with them the staff sends in some marginal singers and an assortment of people that may not be able to sing, but are interesting enough to capture the eye of the audience or get a rise out of Simon and company. While it’s true that each season they are looking for another Fantasia or Carrie Underwood, they are also looking for the next William Hung. It’s part of the production team’s job description to find people who are so bad the viewers can’t turn away.

Finally, out of fairness to the production assistants who endure the tens of thousands of off-key singers you never have to see, there is another type of Idol wannabe that makes it in front of the cameras. These are the people who have real talent but no other skills. Don’t for a moment assume that just because someone can sing it means they have the potential to be stars. It’s one thing to sing in a church or wow them at the local karaoke club. It’s quite another to endure the audition process for American Idol.

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