We’ll Be the Judge of That! – But Can They Sing?, Episode 5

Once again, David Bloomberg, Sandy McFarland, and Tyler Sandersfeld return to put their sanity to the test as they judge But Can They Sing? With two duets and four solos, there is some room for disagreement. But by the time all is said and done, will the judges agree on who they think is going to win?

Carmine & Bai, “Rock and Roll All Night”

David: Who would have thought that anybody could make Bai Ling sound good by comparison? Yet that’s exactly what Carmine has done here. He has no rhythm and can’t even sing the words at the right time – let alone the right key. At least Bai’s screeching kind of goes along with a rock song. Carmine’s alleged singing goes along with… nothing. Plus, Bai did us the favor of often moving the microphone away from her mouth through much of the song, so we couldn’t really hear her.

Sandy: I’m sorry to say that Bai Ling didn’t even make me smile during this number. I had the feeling that she wasn’t even trying. For the first time, as off key as Carmine was, it seemed like he was really giving it his all. I was actually glad when he took off his jacket because it distracted me from what should have been a good song for the two of them. Carmine said it best when he told us no good could come of this duet.

Tyler: Carmine sucked. Bai sucked too, but she did it lovably. Sometimes I wonder why I volunteered for this.

Michael & Morgan, “Walking on Sunshine”

David: Following Carmine and Bai, Michael and Morgan could only compare positively. But really, they are probably the two best singers from the whole group of nine who started this little adventure. That’s not to say they’re great… or even all that good. Michael sounded the most like somebody who could actually sing, while Morgan was all over the place.

Sandy: I really enjoyed this number. Michael Copon seems to finally have found comfort on the stage. I doubt if he will ever be a singer, but I really enjoyed him. Morgan seemed nervous and never seemed steady until the two sang together. You could almost feel her breathing a sigh of relief when they started “walking on sunshine.” No matter, I thought they did a wonderful job. Now if only someone would shut ANT up.

Tyler: Oh my heck! Michael was impressive! Whether he's actually improving or my expectations are non-existent is up for debate. Still, it was the best anyone on this show has ever sounded, bar none. He was on key, he had good tone, and he had the moves. Okay, so he did fumble the words a little, but he was still great! He put certain brothers from American Idol 3 to shame! As for Morgan, meh. The harmonies were lousy, too.

Bai Ling, “Volare”

David: Bai was happy because we’d finally get a chance to hear her sing. The rest of us were crying for the same reason. Let’s face it, Bai’s entertainment value did not come from her vocal abilities, but from the lunatic she had become. Without the insanity in this performance, it was just bad. Not good bad, bad bad.

Sandy: I was ready to toss her off the stage during her duet, and I can’t say this song really changed my mind. She started off rather nicely, using her lower tones and a bit of sultry vibrato. It was almost refreshing. Once she decided to take off her stole, she lost the words and never recovered. There were some good notes, but she was ahead of the music, then behind the music, then I couldn’t even find the music. Truth be told, I would have been more impressed if she stayed dressed and put her all into her singing.

Tyler: Meh.

Carmine Gotti Agnello, “Hey Ma”

David: Count me among the people who “don’t understand why” Carmine keeps getting votes, as Ahmet said. Before taking the stage, we saw Carmine say he wanted to do something the crowd wouldn’t expect. Hmmm. How about singing somewhere close to the proper key – nobody would expect that! Alas, that’s not what he does. Once again, Carmine tries to rap. It’s a little bit better than the usual talking he does, but not much. And that may only be because after Carmine’s repeated urgings, the crowd got loud enough to partially drown him out. His dance moves, if they can even be called that, were simply pathetic. For that matter, so was “judge” Tony Michaels’ claim that Carmine has “natural talent.” Give me a break. I have to admit, I’m really tired of seeing (and of course hearing) Carmine. He’s not amusing, he’s not funny, and he’s certainly no good. Ugh.

Sandy: Call me crazy but I actually enjoyed Carmine’s performance… well, the beginning of it anyway. [David butts in: “You’re crazy!”] He lost the beat a bit, but kept on going. The song is catchy, and the background singers kept him on track. Another plus was that he didn’t sing a note. Maybe he has finally watched a few of his performances and learned from them. For Carmine, this may be as good as he gets.

Tyler: As Sandy indicated, at least they didn't give him a song that required singing. He can't rap, either, but at least his rapping isn't lethal. He's more or less the male version of Bai Ling: best watched on mute. Oh, and Carmine? Lose those ridiculous shades. They belong to Bo Bice.

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