American Idol 4: Why Lindsey Lost

It came as absolutely no surprise to me that Lindsey Cardinale lost this week. I had predicted it before a single note had been sung this week. I then predicted it again in We’ll Be the Judge of That!, where, indeed, all of the judges picked her as the one to say goodbye. But why was it so obvious? Why did Lindsey lose?

Look, we find out why it was obvious at the very first rule! Performers at this level are supposed to have singing and performing talent. However, what some of the judges have previously referred to as Lindsey’s “smoky” voice, I have thought sounded more like she had a head cold.

Simply looking at Lindsey’s single performance in the finals, the judges were less than complimentary. Simon said, “30 millions televisions had their volumes turned down simultaneously on this song.” Ouch. The best even Paula could do was ask Lindsey how she thought she did. That’s never good.

As far as the off-site judges, Sting7, in his recap, said the chemistry was all wrong. In We’ll Be the Judge, Betsy found her “utterly forgettable.” Bruce compared her to Janay Castine and felt it “was one of the worst finalist performances” he’s ever seen. Brian and Gil could barely understand what she was saying at first. And I found it “frightening.”

Judges – both on-site and off-site – often disagree on performances. One will think it’s great while another thinks it’s horrible. It’s inevitable in a subjective competition. So when nobody thinks you did well, you are in serious trouble.

The second rule says to pick a good song for your performance. Honestly, I’m not sure what kind of song would have been good for Lindsey. I’m not sure there is a song that would have been good for Lindsey. We certainly cannot blame the song for what she did on stage in the finals.

Third is to be consistent and able to sing in different genres. Throughout the semi-finals, Lindsey sang just well enough to barely beat out a couple others – sometimes not even that well, but the votes happened that way anyway. When it came to the finals, she needed to really show that she was more than a fair-to-middling singer, and she didn’t.

The fourth rule says to be unique – different from both past Idol stars and current competitors. She succeeded, I suppose. Nobody would confuse her for anybody else. Unfortunately, that’s mostly because she completely failed at the fifth rule, which says to be memorable – people didn’t even remember she was there!

A newspaper reporter called me on Monday and asked me who I thought would be leaving. I actually forgot that Lindsey was still in the competition! It wasn’t until I sat down to add my thoughts to Phil Kural’s prediction article that I brought up the full list and had my memory jogged.

I can’t say that I really know anything about Lindsey. I don’t remember where she’s from. I didn’t remember what she had performed previously from week to week. She made as much impression on me for the long-term as the piece of bread on the bottom of a sandwich I ate for lunch three days ago – none.

The sixth rule says to avoid karaoke. In his “We’ll Be the Judge of That!” portion, Bruce felt that Lindsey’s performance was the epitome of karaoke. Personally, I’m not even sure it was good enough to be karaoke. For one thing, karaoke is supposed to at least be fun.

Lindsey didn’t seem to have any problems when it came to the seventh rule, against arguing with the judges. But moving to the eighth reminds us that each singer is a package. Unfortunately, Lindsey’s package had a plain wrapping and nothing exciting on the inside. Blah.

The final rule is to create a fan base. There are many ways to do this, and Lindsey succeeded with none of them. She was not an exciting performer, she didn’t have a great back story, her personality didn’t reach out and grab you, etc. Why would anybody want to vote for Lindsey when they could vote for people who went onto the stage and gave it their all? One again, blah.

That really sums it up for Lindsey: Blah. Honestly, Lindsey should consider herself lucky to have made it into the finals. But once she was there, she needed to kick it up several notches. Instead, we saw the same old same old. Lindsey was simply forgettable, and her final performance did nothing to change that image. That is why Lindsey lost.

David Bloomberg is the Editor of Foxes On Idol, and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.

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