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The NGH Report – American Idol 9’s Hollywood Week, Round 4: “Fun Dancing Time!”by Joseph Banks -- 02/18/2010
View Printable version of this article Wednesday night saw the end of Hollywood Week. Starting next week, we are in the semi-final rounds of American Idol 9. It will be up to us to decide who goes on and it will be up to me to make a few of the contestants cry with vicious unnecessary attacks about their personas. Because that’s the world I want to live in. First thing’s first tonight… let’s get a couple of things off my chest. 1. The bandleader during Hollywood Week is a dick. I had to watch him yell at Lilly Scott tonight because she came in a little too early. Seriously, was he not being paid? Does he hate music? It seemed like he would rather shoot a crate full of puppies in the head than organize music for these Idol hopefuls. Seriously bad behavior. 2. Thaddeus Johnson was a gigantic diva this whole season to date and I am glad he was not put through to the top 24. This was a 16-year-old kid who somehow rubbed me the wrong way over the past couple of weeks. It’s one thing to be a diva when you are playing music for a living, but he’s still ten credits short of graduating high school. It’s cool to cry, but cry because you’re sad, not because you think the decision was wrong. You’re 16. Maybe they looked at you and said, “Hmm, chubby guy with an awful fauxhawk. Yeah, I don’t see us marketing that this season.” Come back next year with a stronger constitution. Let’s talk about those who made it into the top 24! Janell Wheeler glided into the top 24! Man, the females so far seem to be really folksy attractive blondes. I’m going to be just fine with that. My favorite moment of Wednesday night was when Janell offered this wonderful little quote: “I don’t think anything is as hard as American Idol.” Really? Nothing?! How about war? How about venereal diseases? How about watching the Lifetime Network for five straight hours because your remote control broke and you’re too lazy to change the channel manually? Does any of that sound hard? How about being Angela Martin? Silly blond bombshell; let’s leave the crazy clueless comments to Kara DioGuardi… Tyler Grady is in the top 24! Remember him? You don’t. We last saw him like six weeks ago during his audition and then he disappeared until tonight. But don’t worry, he made it! The clip they showed of him seemed perfectly nice as Tyler sang “Home” with a very comfortable ease. Lacey Brown had done the “long walk” before so she was no stranger to the stress, and this time she was put through to the next round. I loved her attitude and her voice still has such incredibly control. Uh-oh! There was a montage of contestants who made it in! Let’s have my comments in montage form too! Ashley Rodriguez is in – Okay, well, Ashley was— Oh, yikes, we already changed to another contestant! Alex Lambert is in – Nobody cares, but congratulations to his high school fan club. All five of you. Next! Joe Munoz is in – Who dat say gonna remember Jose? Yeah, no one. Crystal Bowersox, the hippy chick with a killer voice, also made it through. Crystal seems like a real musician who will be able to handle this show’s pressures nicely. Even if she thought that American Idol was watched by three million people weekly. Psst, it’s closer to 30 million. Katie Stevens, who is iCarly’s cuter and younger sister, managed to curtsy her way into the semi-finals with some little girl power. Seriously, is this girl even old enough to drink milk? Either way, keep her away from Lee Dewyze; that dude looks like a mother’s worst nightmare. Lilly Scott was also put through and hopefully she celebrated and then went to a stylist to fix her mistake, and by mistake, I mean her hair. She’s a sweet girl who has the talent to do well on this program. Kara told her that this show is usually about who can sing the best, but they didn’t want it to be like that, so welcome aboard! Ouch. Doesn’t that just feel awful? It’s like when a guy tells a girl, “Yeah, I can’t stand those sexy girls with the great bodies and pretty faces. So, I’d very much like to date you!” Time for another montage! Paige Miles – Paige is a… uhh, wait, who was Paige? Siobhan Magnus – Her name makes her sound less like a pop star and more like a character from “Street Fighter.” Michelle Delamor – I didn’t know Syesha Mercado and Nadia Turner had a lovechild. Jermaine Sellers – I welcome Jermaine and his assortment of hipster hoodies. John Park – Hey, remember when they showed John singing in Hollywood? You would think that after all the damage William Hung did to the Asian musical community, we could see John sing at least once this past week. Haeley Vaughn was the last female to make the top 24. I’m excited for Haeley and think she could surprise a few of the judges in the upcoming rounds. After all, how can you not like Haeley? The final contestant of the evening was none other than ridiculously sure-bet Andrew Garcia. Andrew was incredibly emotional and just by the way this program was edited you can see how much American Idol loves this man. Seriously, he was given the first “pimp spot” of the season. Well, that does it! What’s that? You only counted 23 contestants. Hmm, well that’s weird. Okay, well, I’m just going to throw in Tim Urban. You don’t mind, right? Well, neither did the producers, because he wasn’t even featured in tonight’s episode. That’s a wicked burn, Timmy. That marks the end of Hollywood Week. Now, my sprockets, we dance! Top 24 dance break!!! See you next week, when the fun really begins! Now you can follow Foxes On Idol & RealityNewsOnline on Twitter and on Facebook! On Twitter, you can get up to the minute notifications on article postings and other reality TV news by following us. So head on over to RealityNewsOnline’s Twitter page! On Facebook, you can become a fan, join discussions, and more! 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