The NGH Report – American Idol Season 9’s Denver Auditions: “Hotdog in the House!”

Denver was the last stop on our audition tour! Sure, Wednesday we will look at the “best of the rest” but this will be the last city we see in Season 9’s audition gauntlet. Thank God. Oh well, Denver is a beautiful place and seems like a fitting conclusion to the past couple of weeks of horror and discovery.

It also gives American Idol the chance to self congratulate themselves on Chris Daughtry’s success over the past couple of years. Go ahead, guys, pat yourselves on the back. Great job. Unfortunately, you also discovered Kellie Pickler, so simmer down and get back to work.

Tonight’s guest judge was Victoria Beckham, who desperately needs a hamburger. Like, seriously. This girl is way too thin. In fact, the only thing more skeletal and vacant than Victoria Beckham is her input on the judging panel.

Well, let’s get started!

Mark Labriola

• 28 years old
• CO
• Mark compares himself to Jack Black. I don’t know. I’m not really seeing it. Anyone?
• Mark doesn’t really have a sob story, but he does ramble on for a couple of minutes about his childhood history of being on the run from the authorities. Apparently his mom “stole” him.
• 7.5/10

Kimberly Kerbow

• 24 years old
• CA
• Kimberly is a single mom with a very dramatic little girl. She’s cute, but someone needs to pencil in some eyebrows for the poor little thing.
• 6.5/10

Danelle Hayes

• 24 years old
• WA
• Danelle hosts a karaoke night, which sounds like my definition of hell.
• “It’s been quite a ride.” Uhh….you’re at the audition… you’re not even on “the ride” yet, so, calm down, Crazy.
• 7.5/10

Casey James

• 27 years old
• TX
• Casey was in a motorcycle accident. Yeah. That’s all the back story we got. Seems kind of lazy, doesn’t it?
• For some reason, Casey decides to do what Kara says and gets shirtless. Who wants to start a betting pool for the day that Kara gets brought up on sexual harassment charges?
• 7/10

Tori Kelly

• 16 years old
• CA
• I’m sorry, but when did 16-year-old girls stop looking like 16-year-olds? Why is it that all of these teenagers look like they are in their mid-twenties?!
• Tori was a good singer, but that little girl, Hope, was not a good artist. I’m sorry. I know art. Those were childish scribbles. Don’t lie to her, Simon. Lay into the little Picasso wannabe.
• 7.5/10

Nicci Nix

• Italy
• 22 years old
• Nicci has a voice that sounds like a dog’s squeaky toy. Apparently she traveled a long way from Florence to find and join the Lollipop guild.
• I’m really against letting immigrants come to America to join this program. They dun took our JOBS!
• 6.5/10

Haeley Vaughn

• 16 years old
• CO
• Haeley was born premature; umm, I don’t care. Not sad enough.
• She actually has a very original feel to her and I could see her doing really well on this program.
• 8/10

26 contestants made it through from the mile high city!

See you tomorrow.

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