We'll Be The Judge of That! - Skating with Celebrities, January 23

Once again, six celebrities take to the ice with six professional skaters! Who did well, and who stumbled? There are definitely a wealth of opinions to be had, so let’s get to it! If you haven’t already, be sure to read the recap by Sting7, to find out what he and the judges have to say, and read on for the judging of Paris Cosby, Brian Towers, Mary Hart, and Teeuwynn Woodruff!

Kristy Swanson & Lloyd Eisler:

Paris: First I want to say how I love the fact that so many Olympians are on this show. It's gearing me up for the big event in a few weeks! These two do remind me of the Village People for some reason though. I thought they were better tonight, but not as tight as they could have been. I loved the spin-lift and I did like the last spin. She still seems a little intimidated but I think it was good. She should just relax and have fun. I liked it. They just need to tighten it up a little.

Brian: Lloyd did a superior job in revamping their program to utilize the skills of his partner, yet still be entertaining. And Kristy stepped up and met that challenge! Although this team was, in my mind, judged too harshly last week, this week they were well received and they must surely be safe after this presentation. Well done!

Mary: Kristy packed on a few pounds since her Hollywood ingénue days, but there’s no doubt she’s got game. Partner Lloyd showed strength and confidence lifting a woman close to his own size. His carry that ended in a near death spiral was awesome even though her golden tresses didn’t catch frost as we’re used to seeing when the pros do this move. Still this potentially treacherous carry was darn impressive when undertaken by a second string blonde starlet.

Teeuwynn: The Original Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her bad-boy partner received the lowest marks from the judges last week – I still have no idea why! Tonight they put in a solid performance to “Boogie Fever,” throwing in two really nice lifts as well as the two required technical elements. The footwork sequence was adequate, but Kristy's spin was once again very solid… I keep wanting to use the word “solid” for this performance. I think that's because I don't feel much of a charismatic spark between these two, but I think Kristy is in the top three in terms of her actual skating skills. One other thing... I could have done without the plastic costumes. That was just a little too ‘70s for me.

Dave Coulier & Nancy Kerrigan:

Paris: I don't know. These two are so odd together. He looks incredibly uncomfortable on the ice. Nancy skates beautifully and it reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. The routine they did bored me tonight and I don't think he's good enough to stick around much longer. Hockey, yes. Figure skating, no.

Brian: I’m sorry, but this boring routine was unimpressive. They are lucky they scored so well last week. It often looked tentative and even, unrehearsed. Dave could not have looked less comfortable, and didn’t appear to commit to the big tricks. Nice spins, Nancy, but it’s not about you. Dave, I’m not sure why there was a chair out there but, “Get Up Offa That Thing,” and skate! Steady enough on his feet to get past the first few rounds… is that good enough? It was not inappropriate that you won the hot seats.

Mary: This is the man alleged to have inspired Alanis Morisette’s most vengeful lament? Hard to believe Dave’s that man as he was less than macho on the ice. His faked cool was adolescent especially when he took a time out to pose with his shades or maybe he just wanted to sit on his least attractive feature. He’s got a full house in the rear, and that might be the reason he can’t handle figure skates with the pointy toes and two sharp edges. Dave may have disappointed, but Nancy surprised and delighted having apparently lost the poor sportsmanship exhibited in the post Olympic Disney parade some years ago. To have bitten the Magic Kingdom Mouse’s hand while the mike was open was a faux pas, but on Fox, doing her thing on ice, she was every bit the classy silver medalist.

Teeuwynn: Hmmm... I can't say I was impressed with this performance. Dave may know his way around a hockey arena, but it seemed like Nancy was carrying far too much of the weight for this team. Dave sat on the stool and kind of skated along for the ride the rest of the time – even his spin was weak, far weaker than Kristy's. And another thing – I watched the performance twice and I still couldn't pick out their synchronized footwork sequence! The song said to “Get Up Offa That Thang,” but I don't think Dave even knew where his Thang was during that performance!

Bruce Jenner & Tai Babilonia:

Paris: I love Bruce and his spirit! I really do. I don't think he has even an ounce of rhythm but wow does he have heart. I thought, for this performance, they used the ice really well and Bruce gave it his all out there. I thought it was a great job. I'd hate to see him leave this competition. I don't think he's the best but I just love the drive and enthusiasm he has. As Phil Kural would say, this pair is my sentimental favorite.

Brian: Y’all are from the years of my cherished past, so, I can cut you a wee bit of slack. As Dorothy will do her best to keep you alive in this competition, you should make the final three or four. But really… it’s not good. I’m just happy you’re here… just not as happy as Dorothy.

Mary: Bruce displayed all the right stuff it took to earn Olympic gold. Unsure on his blades, and at times perilously close to crashing; he still pushed the envelope of his less than stellar skill on ice. His skating may be weak, and his legs wobbly; but his will to challenge himself is strong. He matched Tai’s spins and jumps till the very end. The performance didn’t have the big black ‘n’ blue finale I feared when Bruce nearly dropped Tai at the end, but these two didn’t even look flustered by the close call. They had fun out there and it showed.